Birth Story 4.0

(Disclaimer: Don’t read if not interested in details of childbirth.)

Sunday morning I awoke to my tell-tale signs of early labor. I had slept on the couch the night before due to general pregnancy discomfort and recalled waking up in the night to mild contractions. I sent messages to my midwife, parents, and close friends letting them know that baby girl’s arrival was imminent.

In preparation for my first home birth, we had spent the weeks prior collecting birth supplies, hanging lights, posting birth affirmations and Scripture in the room, rigging up plumbing contraptions to fill the birth tub (with help from our local Ace hardware!), and making soups to freeze. Now we were in the last hours and it was time to inflate the birth tub, prep the bed, and make a breakfast casserole (my favorite post-birth meal).

My contractions began picking up mid-afternoon. I let my mom know it was a good time to head over and help out with dinner and the girls. Dad followed in a little while.

If you read my third birth story, you may remember that it wasn’t the easiest. Everybody was healthy and there were no severe complications, but mentally, my expectations were so strong that they inhibited much of the process. As a result, I had to do a lot of heart-work leading up to this birth to keep my expectations in check.

As contractions intensified, we called our midwife around 7:45 PM and again at 8:30 PM to give her an update. Accustomed to longer labors, I was hesitant to ask her to come as I didn’t want her waiting around another 12 hours for baby. I had a few contractions during the phone call and we decided it best for her to come.

Between calls, Chris had started filling the birth tub. (PSA: Don’t forget to put the liner in!) He started filling it and I quickly realized the liner was missing and we had to drain it and start over. Thankfully, it wasn’t very full. Once we got the liner in place, he started filling it again. It didn’t take long for us to figure out that our water heater wasn’t up to the task. We knew this was a potential risk. Between contractions, he would check the water temperature, turn it off, wait a little while, turn it back on until it started running cold again. I would call out, “I need you!” and he would rush back over and help me work through each contraction.

As this was going on, I could tell labor was progressing quickly. I wasn’t recovering as well between contractions, started feeling jittery, and my vocalizations were getting deeper. Chris was mentally preparing to catch her himself if needed, although I didn’t think she was coming just yet.

Our midwife, Missi, and student midwife, Lindsey, arrived just a few minutes before 10:00 PM. At this point, I was on the bed on all fours–a favorite birthing position of mine. I had managed to stay in a good place mentally up to this point. Lindsey noticed that I was tightening up my face and encouraged me to try to relax those muscles. Due to recurring headaches and prepping for labor this time around, making myself aware of facial tension has been a practice of mine in recent months. I knew I was tense, but I was struggling to release it. I wanted to cry. I realized that an expectation had crept in despite all my efforts. The birth tub. I wanted to be in it. The water was too low and too cold. Missi was already on it–she had put my mom on water duty. She was boiling pots of water as fast as she could. While we waited for the tub to be filled, I moved from the bed to the toilet.

Pausing here to mention that I had not been checked up to this point. One of the beauties of home birth and midwifery care is that you are left alone to let your body do the work it was created to do. Missi and Lindsey could tell that my body was doing the work just by watching and listening. As I sat on the toilet and braced through a few more contractions, Lindsey suggested moving to the bed for a quick check before transitioning to the tub. Since my cervix had been slightly uncooperative during my third birth, I was concerned it was happening again and delaying her arrival. After about two more contractions, it was apparent that a check was not necessary and that baby girl was on her way.

During this time, perceiving that I was still tense, Lindsey asked what I needed to move into a better headspace. I quickly replied, “I need someone to tell me how many more contractions until this baby comes out!” Missi answered, “I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you only one more pot of water until you can get in the tub!”

After adding the rest of the water, they helped me into the full, warm tub where I leaned over the side, gripping Chris’s hands as the last few contractions washed over me. This was the most challenging part of the birth. I cried out, “I can’t do this!” over and over again. Lindsey answered my cry: “You are doing it!” Missi and Chris echoed with their own words of encouragement. My water broke about this time and her head emerged. Unlike my other births, she turned as she arrived and required one final push to deliver her shoulders. Lindsey caught her at 11:18 PM and sent her floating up in front of me. I grabbed her and sat back, once again mesmerized and awestruck at the miracle of birth and life.

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The placenta delivered easily. Chris cut the cord after it stopped pulsing, allowing baby girl to get all the cord blood. My bleeding was managed with herbs. No third stage pitocin this time! I also took alfalfa throughout pregnancy and am currently taking a postpartum tonic from Milk Moon, both of which help with postpartum bleeding.

Somehow, the girls slept through the last three hours of the birth and woke up the next morning to find their new baby sister had arrived. They each responded in their own way, but each full of love and joy.

From start to finish, this was my shortest labor yet. Maybe it just worked out that way, but I attribute it to being home, birthing unhindered, and chiropractic care from my friend, Dr. Jen Carter. Missi and Lindsey were amazing and I’m forever grateful for their care. My parents were champs—helping out with the girls, boiling all the water, and supporting me in my unorthodox ways. Last and greatest of all—thank you to my husband for his unwavering support. Sorry I almost broke your hand.

I’ve been given a lot of praise over the years for having unmedicated, out-of-hospital births. In my opinion, this is undeserved praise. If I can do this, so can you. Mamas, we were made to do this. Modern medical care has its place and purpose, but unhindered birth is a beautiful, wonderful thing. Believe it.