Birth Story 4.0

(Disclaimer: Don’t read if not interested in details of childbirth.)

Sunday morning I awoke to my tell-tale signs of early labor. I had slept on the couch the night before due to general pregnancy discomfort and recalled waking up in the night to mild contractions. I sent messages to my midwife, parents, and close friends letting them know that baby girl’s arrival was imminent.

In preparation for my first home birth, we had spent the weeks prior collecting birth supplies, hanging lights, posting birth affirmations and Scripture in the room, rigging up plumbing contraptions to fill the birth tub (with help from our local Ace hardware!), and making soups to freeze. Now we were in the last hours and it was time to inflate the birth tub, prep the bed, and make a breakfast casserole (my favorite post-birth meal).

My contractions began picking up mid-afternoon. I let my mom know it was a good time to head over and help out with dinner and the girls. Dad followed in a little while.

If you read my third birth story, you may remember that it wasn’t the easiest. Everybody was healthy and there were no severe complications, but mentally, my expectations were so strong that they inhibited much of the process. As a result, I had to do a lot of heart-work leading up to this birth to keep my expectations in check.

As contractions intensified, we called our midwife around 7:45 PM and again at 8:30 PM to give her an update. Accustomed to longer labors, I was hesitant to ask her to come as I didn’t want her waiting around another 12 hours for baby. I had a few contractions during the phone call and we decided it best for her to come.

Between calls, Chris had started filling the birth tub. (PSA: Don’t forget to put the liner in!) He started filling it and I quickly realized the liner was missing and we had to drain it and start over. Thankfully, it wasn’t very full. Once we got the liner in place, he started filling it again. It didn’t take long for us to figure out that our water heater wasn’t up to the task. We knew this was a potential risk. Between contractions, he would check the water temperature, turn it off, wait a little while, turn it back on until it started running cold again. I would call out, “I need you!” and he would rush back over and help me work through each contraction.

As this was going on, I could tell labor was progressing quickly. I wasn’t recovering as well between contractions, started feeling jittery, and my vocalizations were getting deeper. Chris was mentally preparing to catch her himself if needed, although I didn’t think she was coming just yet.

Our midwife, Missi, and student midwife, Lindsey, arrived just a few minutes before 10:00 PM. At this point, I was on the bed on all fours–a favorite birthing position of mine. I had managed to stay in a good place mentally up to this point. Lindsey noticed that I was tightening up my face and encouraged me to try to relax those muscles. Due to recurring headaches and prepping for labor this time around, making myself aware of facial tension has been a practice of mine in recent months. I knew I was tense, but I was struggling to release it. I wanted to cry. I realized that an expectation had crept in despite all my efforts. The birth tub. I wanted to be in it. The water was too low and too cold. Missi was already on it–she had put my mom on water duty. She was boiling pots of water as fast as she could. While we waited for the tub to be filled, I moved from the bed to the toilet.

Pausing here to mention that I had not been checked up to this point. One of the beauties of home birth and midwifery care is that you are left alone to let your body do the work it was created to do. Missi and Lindsey could tell that my body was doing the work just by watching and listening. As I sat on the toilet and braced through a few more contractions, Lindsey suggested moving to the bed for a quick check before transitioning to the tub. Since my cervix had been slightly uncooperative during my third birth, I was concerned it was happening again and delaying her arrival. After about two more contractions, it was apparent that a check was not necessary and that baby girl was on her way.

During this time, perceiving that I was still tense, Lindsey asked what I needed to move into a better headspace. I quickly replied, “I need someone to tell me how many more contractions until this baby comes out!” Missi answered, “I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you only one more pot of water until you can get in the tub!”

After adding the rest of the water, they helped me into the full, warm tub where I leaned over the side, gripping Chris’s hands as the last few contractions washed over me. This was the most challenging part of the birth. I cried out, “I can’t do this!” over and over again. Lindsey answered my cry: “You are doing it!” Missi and Chris echoed with their own words of encouragement. My water broke about this time and her head emerged. Unlike my other births, she turned as she arrived and required one final push to deliver her shoulders. Lindsey caught her at 11:18 PM and sent her floating up in front of me. I grabbed her and sat back, once again mesmerized and awestruck at the miracle of birth and life.

• 

• 

The placenta delivered easily. Chris cut the cord after it stopped pulsing, allowing baby girl to get all the cord blood. My bleeding was managed with herbs. No third stage pitocin this time! I also took alfalfa throughout pregnancy and am currently taking a postpartum tonic from Milk Moon, both of which help with postpartum bleeding.

Somehow, the girls slept through the last three hours of the birth and woke up the next morning to find their new baby sister had arrived. They each responded in their own way, but each full of love and joy.

From start to finish, this was my shortest labor yet. Maybe it just worked out that way, but I attribute it to being home, birthing unhindered, and chiropractic care from my friend, Dr. Jen Carter. Missi and Lindsey were amazing and I’m forever grateful for their care. My parents were champs—helping out with the girls, boiling all the water, and supporting me in my unorthodox ways. Last and greatest of all—thank you to my husband for his unwavering support. Sorry I almost broke your hand.

I’ve been given a lot of praise over the years for having unmedicated, out-of-hospital births. In my opinion, this is undeserved praise. If I can do this, so can you. Mamas, we were made to do this. Modern medical care has its place and purpose, but unhindered birth is a beautiful, wonderful thing. Believe it.

God Uses the Evil

Coronavirus. Medical Mandates. 5G. Cancer. Debt. Death. War. The Political Theater.

It’s enough to make you want to crawl in a hole and never come out. And we don’t watch the news.

As sincere, Bible-believing, followers of Jesus, how are we to live?

Opinions vary.

• God is sovereign. Therefore, I can live my life and not worry about what is happening around me.
  • “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
  • “While people are saying, ‘There is peace and security,’ then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. ⁴ But you are not in darkness, brothers, for that day to surprise you like a thief. ⁵ For you are all children of light, children of the day. We are not of the night or of the darkness. ⁶ So then let us not sleep, as others do, but let us keep awake and be sober.” 1 Thessalonians 5:3-6
    
  • “But stay awake at all times, praying that you may have strength to escape all these things that are going to take place, and to stand before the Son of Man.” Luke 21:36
  • “We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one.” 1 John 5:19
• Self-preservation. I believe in God, but I have to protect myself and my family at all costs.
  • “For the nations seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. ³³ But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. ³⁴ Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:32-34
  • “Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:25

This is an excerpt from a blog post I wrote two years ago:

“Yet, in the corrupt, violent days when the judges ruled, God used an ordinary widow and her daughter-in-law faithfully doing ordinary things to preserve the lineage of David, and ultimately Jesus. Having moved back to Bethlehem from Moab during the barley harvest, Ruth faithfully worked and cared for her mother-in-law while God orchestrated her redemption through a kind man named Boaz. Glory in the ordinary.”

Not only does God use the ordinary, He uses the abhorrent. He uses the evil.

After I typed that last sentence, I had to pause. Do I believe that? Do I believe that God actually uses evil?

We’ve been going through the book of Colossians in our weekly fellowship.

Jesus was crucified at the hands of an angry and irrational mob. What was His crime? Did he murder someone? Steal from someone? No. He said something. He said He was the Son of God, the King of the Jews. Can you imagine how His disciples, His brothers, His mother felt in those moments?

I don’t know about you, but I often find myself frustrated, angered, saddened, by the irrational mob that appears to be running our world. What good can come from this evil?

And yet, what was accomplished by Jesus’s death on the cross? The greatest injustice the world will ever know. The greatest evil ever committed. The greatest gift ever given.“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.” Genesis 50:20

Jesus is King. The victory is His. Be encouraged. Be wise.

“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” Ephesians 6:11

A few practical tips in light of recent events:

• Pray for wisdom. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5
• Read God’s Word, the Bible, daily.
• Turn off the news.
• Don’t buy into the hype.
• Do your own research.
• Plant a garden.
• Learn how to build up your immunity naturally:
  • real foods
  • limit/eliminate sugar
  • elderberry syrup
  • vitamins A, D & C
  • colloidal silver
  • lemon juice
  • garlic
  • ginger
  • probiotics through fermented foods
  • essential oils

Thanks for reading. Feel free to drop your favorite verses of encouragement, immune-boosting tips, or questions in the comments.

Get Loud

Last night, I attended a local Conservative Republican Women’s meeting. I am not a registered Republican or Democrat. I don’t agree with a two-party system. I believe that in many ways, the two parties are two heads of the same dragon. However, this particular group invited the founder of the Georgia Coalition for Vaccine Choice, Sandi Marcus, to speak at their gathering and I was, at the very least, curious.

Going into the meeting, I did not know whether the environment would be hostile or welcoming toward Sandi. Based on personal experience and stories from others, I expected hostility. With the exception of one individual who got up and left early in the presentation, the group was surprisingly receptive.

When I first arrived, I was greeted by a woman who recognized me as a newcomer. When I explained that I was there to hear Sandi speak, she warmly asked if I had a personal experience with vaccines/vaccine injury. We continued to talk and it became apparent to me that her goal was the same as mine: truth. How refreshing.

There were two state representatives present at the meeting: Houston Gaines and Marcus Wiedower. If they didn’t know, now they do–and they will be held accountable.

Sandi began her presentation by sharing her “why” — why she started the Georgia Coalition for Vaccine Choice. I will not share the details of her story, because I did not get a chance to ask her permission and it is her story to tell. I will say that she had a personal experience with vaccine injury that led her to found the coalition.

After Sandi and her colleague, Peggy, jumped in to the facts (yes, facts) regarding vaccines, it was hard to keep the meeting on track. While there were a handful of individuals who already knew much of what was shared (so encouraging), many others had never heard any of this information. And their jaws were on the floor. Why haven’t we heard about this? What can we do?

They didn’t know that the childhood vaccine schedule increased from 24 in 1983 to 72 in 2016.

They didn’t know that the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986 released all vaccine manufacturers from liability resulting from vaccine injury or death.

They didn’t know that the previous version of the DTaP shot, DPT, was a very dangerous vaccine and that as a result of the numerous injuries and deaths, pharmaceutical companies went to Congress and said, “You have to help us out…” and as a result, we have the act mentioned above, releasing these companies from all liability.

They didn’t know that there isn’t such thing as a “tetanus shot,” but only the DTaP, which is a combo vaccine of diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis.

They didn’t know that more people have died from the measles vaccine than from the measles in Georgia since 1990. (https://wonder.cdc.gov/)

They didn’t know that there is a system created specifically for reporting vaccine injuries and that a Harvard study determined that less than 1% of injuries/deaths are reported to the Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System. From the report:

“Adverse events from vaccines are common, but underreported, with less than one percent, reported to the Food & Drug Administration.”

“Unfortunately, there was never an opportunity to perform system performance assessments because the necessary CDC contacts were no longer available and the CDC consultants responsible for receiving data were no longer responsive to our multiple requests to processed with testing and evaluation.”

They didn’t know that the amount paid out to vaccine injured families from the excise tax-funded program (VICP) is $4,158,040,250.41 as of July 1, 2019.

They didn’t know that the CDC did a study in 2004 looking at the relationship between vaccines and autism in African-American boys and found that their chances of becoming autistic increased by 343 times after receiving the MMR vaccine. They didn’t know that this study went in the garbage can. They didn’t know that a CDC employee, William Thompson, came forward as a whistleblower and that on August 27, 2014, this study was handed over to Congress and they haven’t done anything about it.

They didn’t know that there is currently a federal bill in the works (HR2527) mandating all children to be vaccinated per the CDC schedule. Or that there is another federal bill in the works (HR2862) to surveil vaccine records. Per the bill text: “To amend the Public Health Service Act to provide for a national system for surveillance of vaccine rates, to authorize research on vaccine hesitancy, to increase public understanding of the benefits of immunizations, and for other purposes.”

They didn’t know that Facebook, Instagram, Google, and others are censoring vaccine safety information. Instagram is disabling hashtags like #vaccineinjury. When I searched for the coalition’s Facebook page last night, this is what came up on my phone–in this order. Notice that I searched specifically for the Georgia Coalition for Vaccine Choice, not “vaccines” or “health.” Don’t believe me? Try it for yourself.

They didn’t know that some vaccines were cultured in aborted fetal tissue. They didn’t know that these babies had to be born alive in order to use the harvested tissue.

They didn’t know that 30 years ago, vaccine manufacturers were mandated to provide vaccine safety reports biannually to Congress and that in a Freedom of Information Act, it was discovered that in 30 years, not a single report has been submitted.

They didn’t know that not a single double-blind placebo test has ever been done on a vaccine. NOT ONE. Any studies that are referenced compare either two different vaccines or a vaccine to a shot of a vaccine ingredient, like aluminum. When asked about this, they will say that they cannot do a double-blind placebo test on vaccines, because it is unethical to not vaccinate a child. Yet, it isn’t considered unethical to vaccinate thousands of children with a vaccine that hasn’t been tested for safety.

Now what? Pray. Pray. Pray some more. If you are in Georgia, join the Georgia Coalition for Vaccine Choice. No matter where you live, get involved. Join a group. Start a group. Talk to your lawmakers. I stay as far away from politics as I can get away with, but unfortunately, if we are going to win this battle, we have to step onto the battleground.

You may be afraid of what people will say. Your family. Your best friend. I understand. Do it anyway. Do it scared. If we are going to drown out mainstream media and pharmaceutical companies, we have to unify and get loud.

Resources:

Georgia Coalition for Vaccine Choice

The Greater Good

National Vaccine Information Center

NVIC Advocacy (Learn about bills by state here)

ICAN (Informed Consent Action Network)

Rise Mama Rise

FDA Vaccine Package Inserts

CDC Ingredients

VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System)

Learn the Risk

Chris Shaw Aluminum Adjuvant Injection Experiment

Seek Truth, Speak Truth: Vaccines

In my last post, I said, “I believe that God is leading me in a direction and I am seeking to be obedient. Lamp to my feet, light to my path; I’m taking this one step at a time.”

So, after much prayer, seeking the Lord, talking with my husband, family and friends, I’m taking the next step. I’m going to discuss vaccines.

Before you roll your eyes and quit reading, please consider the benefits of hearing from someone you may disagree with. If we never considered an opposing position, we’d still be the same people we were last week, last year, or ten years ago. In order to grow, we have to listen to others, think critically about what they are saying, and, if you are a believer, hold up what they say to the standard of Scripture and make a choice to either adopt the belief or abandon it as false. It may be inconvenient or uncomfortable, but neither convenience nor comfort are ideals that we have been called to as believers.

CDC Recommended Vaccine Schedule

Before I dive in, I want to show you this list comparing the vaccine schedules in 1962, 1983 and 2016. As of 2019, the number of CDC recommended doses is 74, compared to three in 1962 and 24 in 1983. Why the substantial increase? It’s not unreasonable to cite the Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986, which freed all vaccine manufacturers from liability resulting from vaccine injury or death, as a possible cause. As a result of this legislation, vaccines became highly profitable.

Where There is Risk, There Must Be Choice

Why am I choosing to speak up now? States are beginning to pass bills mandating the full CDC vaccine schedule–that is 74 vaccines from before birth (given to mother during pregnancy) to 18. Previously, there have been philosophical, religious, and medical exemptions available. These bills make it nearly impossible to get an exemption.

We cannot allow this to happen. Liberty and justice for all. Everyone. Not just those with whom we agree. Find out what bills are currently on the table in your state here.

No matter one’s opinion regarding the safety and effectiveness of vaccines–where there is risk, there must be choice.

“But they are safe…”

This is directly from the FDA M-M-R II (Measles, Mumps, & Rubella) package insert:

“Death from various, and in some cases unknown, causes has been reported rarely following vaccination with measles, mumps, and rubella vaccines;”

“M-M-R II has not been evaluated for carcinogenic or mutagenic potential, or potential to impair fertility.”

And as for effectiveness,

“As for any vaccine, vaccination with M-M-R II may not result in protection in 100% of vaccinees.”

Do not take my word for it. You can read the FDA inserts for every vaccine here.

The FDA recently approved a 6-in-1 vaccine that is to be given to babies beginning at six weeks of age. Again,

“VAXELIS has not been evaluated for carcinogenic or mutagenic potential or impairment of fertility.”

Additionally, they tell us that you should not receive this vaccine if you have a history of:

“fever ≥40.5°C (≥105°F), hypotonic-hyporesponsive episode (HHE) or persistent, inconsolable crying lasting ≥3 hours within 48 hours after a previous pertussis-containing vaccine. (5.2)-seizures within 3 days after a previous pertussis-containing vaccine. (5.2)”

How can they know about a child’s reaction to something they have never received and when they are only six weeks of age?

VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System) was set up by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services to track adverse reactions to vaccines. Additionally, there is an excise tax on every vaccine administered that goes into the VICP (Vaccine Injury Compensation Program) fund to pay out to those who are adversely affected by vaccines. There is risk and the pharmaceutical companies, as well as the government, are well aware. Why else would these programs exist? Where there is risk, there has to be choice.

Ingredients

According to the CDC website, various vaccines can include: aluminum, mercury (thimerosal), formaldehyde, antibiotics, monosodium glutamate (MSG), human fetal cells (listed as human diploid), GMOs, animal proteins and DNA, glyphosate (Roundup) and preservatives such as Polysorbate 80.

These are directly from the CDC website:

Vaccine Injury

You may have a fully- or partially-vaccinated child who did not suffer any adverse effects. This does not mean that vaccines are safe for everyone. We all have a different genetic makeup and whereas one child may be able to more effectively and/or rapidly detoxify certain vaccine ingredients (such as heavy metals mercury and aluminum), others cannot. And there is no way to know until after the vaccines have been administered and the child suffers an injury or worse.

There is a documentary that was released in 2011 entitled The Greater Good. It is currently on YouTube and follows three families that have suffered vaccine injury. Please take the time to listen to their stories.

Maybe a child doesn’t have autism or experience seizures. But what about speech delay? Asthma? These conditions have become more widespread as the vaccine schedule has grown.

“Today, some 15 percent of school children suffer from asthma. The point is, we haven’t eradicated sickness with vaccines, we haven’t even stopped inflammatory lung disease with the pertussis vaccine, we have just traded an acute, self-limiting illness for a chronic, never ending battle.” (Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby & Child Care, Morell, Cowan, MD).

Sanitation and Hygiene

What about polio? Generations before us credit the polio vaccine for eradicating polio. In looking at history, we see that polio had already started to decline by at least 90% due to public sanitation and hygiene in the early 1950s and the vaccine was introduced in 1955. Similarly, diphtheria declined drastically before the introduction of a vaccine. Cases of smallpox actually increased after the introduction of a mandatory smallpox vaccine in the 1860s and “decreased only after an organized uprising by parents and doctors forced European governments to end their mandatory vaccination programs.” (Nourishing Traditions Book of Baby & Child Care, Morell, Cowan, MD). Typhoid and scarlet fever died out on their own without a vaccine.

Follow the Money

I mentioned earlier that vaccines became highly profitable for manufacturers in 1986 when they were released from all liability. I also shared that when a vaccine is administered, there is a tax collected that goes into a fund specifically for the purpose of compensating families who experience adverse reactions to a vaccine. This means that families are funding these payouts, not the pharmaceutical companies. They carry no risk. You can view the April 2019 financial statements for the VICP fund here. Not only are they not responsible for compensating the affected families, but they are profiting from the excise tax. In April 2019 alone, the VICP earned $8.6M in interest revenue. According to the International Trade Administration, the pharmaceutical industry is making more than a trillion dollars in profits yearly. I am for businesses making profit, but not at the expense of others’ life, liberty, and property.

We are one of the only countries that allows drug advertising. Merck spent $100 million in marketing for Gardasil (HPV/cervical cancer vaccine) the first year it was released. It was set to undergo a four-year trial, but after 15 months, the creators of Gardasil approached the FDA about getting it fast-tracked and the FDA agreed. The trial ended and Gardasil was released to the public. It was initally for women ages 19-26. Then they changed the age range to 9-26. Now it is recommended for boys 9-26. And soon it will be added to the infant schedule. Even if it was a safe vaccine, immunity only lasts five years. Why would they give a HPV vaccine to infants? Who stands to benefit? According to a Washington Post article in 2015, Pharma spends more money on marketing than it does on research.

What can you do?

No matter where one is on this journey, one can always be more informed. Don’t depend on mainstream media to inform decisions. Do the legwork. Read the package inserts, research studies, sign up for email updates from the National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC), find out what bills are in the works in your state. Maybe you agree with some vaccines, but disagree with others. Mandates don’t allow you that choice. All 74 vaccines will be required if these laws are passed. Fight for parental choice. Share what you learn with people you care about and know that you are not alone in this fight.

Learn More:

The Greater Good

National Vaccine Information Center

NVIC Advocacy (Learn about bills by state here)

ICAN (Informed Consent Action Network)

Rise Mama Rise

FDA Vaccine Package Inserts

CDC Ingredients

VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System)

Learn the Risk

Chris Shaw Aluminum Adjuvant Injection Experiment

Hate Your Life

And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Truly, truly I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.” John 12:23-26

I haven’t planned out what this post is going to look like from beginning to end. I believe that God is leading me in a direction and I am seeking to be obedient. Lamp to my feet, light to my path; I’m taking this one step at a time.

Do you hate your life in this world? I bought a wall hanging a few years back that said, “Be in love with your life.” I meant for it to remind me to be thankful for the life God has given me. What it should say is, “Be in love with your God.” It’s no secret that we are inundated with the message, “Do what you love.” “Life is too short to be unhappy.” “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” “Be in love with yourself.” …and the list goes on. It sounds good, right? But like Shift in C.S. Lewis’s The Last Battle, “By mixing a little truth with it they had made their lie far stronger.”

The world is telling us, “The fear of self is the beginning of wisdom.” God tells us in Proverbs 1:7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” We are to “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2). Paul tells us in Romans 12, “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.”

A Bible study leader once shared this thought: when we fear another person, care what they think, want what they have, we are saying that we care more about ourselves or about the things they have than we do about them.

In the last 10 years, we have completely detached ourselves from mainstream media. Some might accuse us of having our heads in the sand. Rather, we say that we much prefer being uninformed to being misinformed. While this hasn’t changed, we have become aware of current events that negatively affect our families and generations to come. Thus far, our position has been to do what we believe is right and if people ask questions or are interested, we are willing to share. We have believed this to be sufficient, until now.

I referenced C.S. Lewis’s book, The Last Battle, above. I finished reading this book for the first time two nights ago. Over the last few weeks, I’ve been wrestling with how to face these threats to our families. Continue to live our life and speak when spoken to? Take to social media? Seek out personal conversations with people in our circle? What if it puts a target on my family? I can’t risk the safety of my children. As these thoughts rolled around in my head, my eldest and I began reading The Last Battle.

Without retelling the whole story, the Narnians have been fooled into believing that a donkey dressed in a lion’s skin is Aslan. Shift the Ape is his puppeteer and is in cahoots with the Calormenes to take over Narnia. The Narnians are helping to accomplish this evil plot against them by obeying who they wrongly believe to be Aslan. The lone seven who know (and believe) the truth, King Tirian, Jewel the Unicorn, Jill, Eustace, Puzzle the Donkey, Poggin the Dwarf, and Farsight the Eagle have just learned that Cair Paravel has been taken by the Calormenes. They have already tried to convince the Dwarfs of the truth by showing them Puzzle the Donkey, dressed in the lion skin. Aside from Poggin, they don’t want any part of it.

“We’re on our own now. No more Aslan, no more Kings, no more silly stories about other worlds. The Dwarfs are for the Dwarfs,” they said.

Now, the seven stand alone and must decide what to do. After a long silence, Jewel speaks up.

“Nothing now remains for us seven but to go back to Stable Hill, proclaim the truth, and take the adventure that Aslan sends us.”

Jill and Eustace, who have been sent to Narnia from England, consider what will happen to them if they die in Narnia. Jill concludes, “I was going to say I wished we’d never come. But I don’t, I don’t, I don’t. Even if we are killed. I’d rather be killed fighting for Narnia than grow old and stupid at home and perhaps go about in a bath-chair and then die in the end just the same.”

As I finished reading this tale, God also gave me Luke 9:23-24. “And He was saying to them all, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.’”

As I considered this story and Jesus’s words, I realized that if God is calling us to stand up for truth, then we must. We must. And to not do so for fear of our children’s safety, we are doing two things: (1) not trusting God with them and (2) putting the battle in their hands and the hands of future generations.

In the end, the seven suffered death in Narnia. But they were immediately with Aslan in the true Narnia. The real Narnia.

Amidst the fight, Tirian told Jill: “But courage, child: we are all between the paws of the true Aslan.” They believed that Narnia was worth fighting for. They hated their life in this world.

Why do I tell you all of this?

Because I want us to hate our lives. I want us to fight for truth. I want us to quit being offended when someone disagrees with us. I want us to be willing to be wrong so that we can learn better and do better. I want us to love the people around us more than we care what they think about us. I want us to stop self-preserving. Stop being afraid. “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28

Seek truth. Speak truth.

Be Inconvenienced

As many of you know, New York recently passed legislation that allows for late-term abortions. Media has a strong hold on our behavior, doesn’t it? Did you also know that New York is not the first or only state to do so? There are nearly a dozen other states that permit late-term abortions.

Social media arguably has its benefits. It assuredly has its flaws. Many people who consider themselves “pro-life” have a renewed fervor in the fight for life in light of this new legislation. I would encourage you to not let that fire die out with an impassioned Facebook post, but rather consider what you can do in your local community to elicit change. Social media posts are convenient, easy, and make us feel good about ourselves. Loving others takes time, energy, and sacrifice.

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35

Here are some ways that you can advocate for life in your community:

1. Build relationships with young people in your community. If you are older, go spend time with a young person. You may think that they won’t be interested, but I think young people today are hungry for something real and as a member of an era that has long since passed, you can offer experiences and stories that they desperately need. If you are younger, go spend time with a friend—in person. Don’t send a text or tweet or snapchat; go have coffee together, look each other in the eye, ask hard questions and be willing to give real answers. Relationships matter.
2. Partner with a local pregnancy care center. I’ve had the privilege of being involved with two different pregnancy care centers in two vastly different communities. Your community is unique and will therefore have unique needs. Find out what they are and give out of what you’ve been given—time, finances, resources, skills. You can find a center near you here. (If you are in the Durham/Chapel Hill area, please contact PSS. If you are in the Barrow County, GA area, please contact Come Alive Ministries.)
3. Pray about becoming a foster or adoptive parent.
4. Educate yourself. Don’t let the media dictate what you believe to be true.

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children.” Hosea 4:6

Love is inconvenient. Be inconvenienced.

All About Breastfeeding

Chris and I often joke that the only reason we moved to North Carolina in 2013 was to have babies. Except, we aren’t really joking.

We discovered that I was pregnant with our first child three days after we moved to North Carolina. She was born in 2014 at Women’s Birth and Wellness Center. Numbers two and three followed suit in 2016 and 2018. Through WBWC, we experienced compassionate, respectful, supportive, and wise prenatal and postpartum care, including breastfeeding education and support.

Lately, through Facebook groups, Instagram posts, and personal conversations, I have heard so many stories of moms who wanted to breastfeed, but were unable to for various reasons.

Knowing that I could’ve easily been one of those moms without the support and education I received from the birth center, and having successfully breastfed two babies into toddlerhood, I thought I would share some of my best tips for anyone who may need some encouragement in this area.

I’m not a professional. This is just my experience.

• First, kellymom.com is an excellent resource for all things breastfeeding.
• The first few days, you’ll produce colostrum. This is exactly what baby needs and it is highly nutritious. You may even want to pump some colostrum and freeze it for a sick day. Your milk should come in around day 3 or 4.
• Nurse often! Focus more on your baby’s hunger cues than on the clock. This will help prevent engorgement (emptying the breast/preventing plugged ducts) and increase your milk production (the more baby eats, the more milk your body knows to produce). People tend to focus on schedules, routines, and sleep–I say focus on nourishing your baby. They will sleep when they are ready to sleep. (I’m not advocating a free-for-all baby-run household, but in those early days, they need their mama and their milk to thrive. Once they are growing well, then you can focus more on sleep). Also, lots of well-meaning folks will tell you, “Never wake a sleeping baby.” Those first few days/weeks, that newborn will sleep A LOT and if you want them to gain weight and you want sufficient milk production, you should be feeding baby every 2-3 hours, even if that means waking them up.
• Find support! It’s really important that you have people around you to cheer you on. There will be days when you want to give up and you’ll need someone to give you a hug and tell you that you can do this. And if you experience more serious issues, find a supportive and compassionate lactation consultant (IBCLC) who will listen to you. I saw an IBCLC with my first and third and it was 110% worth it. Get help if you need it! Breastfeeding is natural, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy (hello childbirth).
• Pumping: Okay, I’ve stayed home with all three babies and my second never even took a bottle, BUT I have used two different pumps and I recommend the Spectra S1 or S2 hands down, no question. I love it!
• Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!
• Nursing pillow: So, I registered for a Boppy the first time around, but some sweet ladies that Chris worked with at the time bought me a “My Brest Friend” pillow and I am SO thankful. I only used it for the first few weeks, so you might think it’s not worth it, but IT IS. Supporting your baby and helping him or her get the best latch possible will make the days ahead so much easier.
• Breastfeeding in those early days is all about position and latch. Baby needs to be well supported. My IBCLC always told me that I should look like a queen when I’m breastfeeding (being humorous, of course)–meaning loads and loads of pillows in your lap and under your arms so that baby is high and supported. You may look and feel ridiculous, but it’s amazing how much it helps. And once your nipples heal (if necessary) and baby gets that deep latch, you won’t need your pillow stash every time you nurse (which feels like 24/7 in the beginning).
• If you do experience cracked nipples, I recommend Motherlove Nipple Cream. It’s organic and safe for ingestion so you don’t have to wipe it off before nursing.
• If you do experience engorgement, check out this article from KellyMom.
• It’s normal for one side to produce more than the other. My right side has always been my “super boob.”
• Breastmilk is amazing. It is full of antibodies. When K was 13 days old, she had a blocked tear duct. Her eye was goopy and she could barely open it. I put breastmilk in it and by the end of the day, it was dried up and she could open it again. And it’s not just for babies–our Great Pyrenees had a similar condition in May and breastmilk cleared it up within hours. Your milk even changes its makeup depending on what your child needs–age, sickness, time of day, etc.

Lastly, give yourself grace and remember: the first few weeks can be really challenging, but barring any major issues (which can and do occur), it will get better and you can do this!

What are your favorite breastfeeding tips?

Birth Story 3.0: Expectations

It’s been eleven days since Baby #3 (“M”) arrived. We’re still in the sleepy newborn phase, so rest hasn’t been too hard to come by yet. My mom left yesterday after ten days of cooking, cleaning, hanging out with big sisters and preserving my sanity.

After M was born, I shared a photo of our newest addition with this caption: “I’m still processing her entrance into the world, but two things I know: God is good and she is a gift.”

These words elicited some concern as friends began speculating about possible complications.

There were no complications. M arrived safely at the hands of a dear midwife and nurse at the same birth center where K and L were born.

So, what was different? What was there to process?

Unmet expectations.

I had expectations about when she would be born (early). I had expectations about how she would be born (quickly). I had expectations about how big she would be (at least seven pounds). I had expectations about how breastfeeding would go (easily).

These were not unrealistic expectations based on my last childbirth and newborn experience, except that previous births really have no bearing on future ones. I learned this the hard way.

And then there were expectations I had not considered—one being that my four year old would not be unknowingly exposed to poison ivy the same week that her sister arrived and that both K and I would not be covered in a rash my first few weeks postpartum.

I still have some processing left to do, but for now, I am ready to share my story.

At 37 weeks, I experienced contractions and a burst of energy. After that, I thought every day could be “the day.”

The next three weeks came and went…slowly.

My parents arrived Saturday, two days after my due date.

Two more days passed and on Monday morning, I finally passed my mucus plug. If you’ve read my other birth stories (here and here), you know this is how both of my previous labors started. Except this time, I wasn’t experiencing any contractions. It wasn’t until that evening around 5:00 PM that I started contracting. They were coming anywhere from 3-7 minutes apart and the midwife on call, Carey, advised me to come in, since third babies can, in theory, come quickly.

We waved goodbye to the girls and told them we’d see them in the morning with their new baby sister.

We arrived at the birth center around 6:30 PM and Laura was the back-up midwife on call, since Carey was with another mom in labor at the time. She checked me and I was 3 centimeters dilated. Not what I wanted to hear, but I thought that I could get things moving with some walking, pelvic exercises, binding, and labor & delivery tincture. Chris and I went for a walk around a nearby neighborhood. I continued to have contractions.

Over the next few hours, contractions remained inconsistent, although they grew in intensity.

Laura and my nurse, Jennifer, suggested that I try to rest, but I was determined to push this baby out as soon as possible and I had no interest in sleep.

I gave in around 11:00 PM. I slept until 1:30 AM and got up again raring to go. Laura checked me again and I was still 3 centimeters. I felt deflated. She asked me if I wanted her to sweep my membranes to get things moving, especially since I was 40w5d at this point. As much as I wanted to move things along, I didn’t want a sweep. We decided to go for another walk around the birth center. We passed another couple doing the same thing and exchanged knowing looks. I had four really intense contractions during our short trek. We came back inside and the contractions slowed again. It was as if I could only have effective contractions while upright. This became exhausting. After some more laboring and wishful thinking, I went back to sleep around 3:00 AM.

When I woke up again, Carey was back. She has been a familiar face throughout all three pregnancies and I was thankful to see her. After some more slow labor (including falling asleep mid-sentence at one point) she offered to sweep my membranes and I reluctantly agreed. At this point, I was worn out and I didn’t think this baby was ever going to arrive. Much to my delight, when she checked me, I was 5 centimeters and contractions were picking up. I didn’t need the sweep! I was so thankful. I continued to labor and before long, it was 8:30 AM and Emily (midwife) and Emma (nurse) picked up where Laura and Carey had left off. If you recall, Emily caught L at 9:36 AM after coming in around 8:30 AM. At this point, I was standing in the bathroom laboring pretty hard and began to feel it was time to push when Emily came in the room and I jokingly told her she had an hour to work her magic.

I moved from the bathroom to leaning over the bed during this phase. I was pushing pretty hard, but contractions were still farther apart than I preferred, leaving me with way too much time to think between each one. I stood there at the edge of the bed, staring at my feet, thinking, “Why won’t she just come?!”

Emily realized that although I was bearing down, M’s head was pushing against part of my cervix that was still in the way. I moved onto the bed on my back so that she could manually move my cervix allowing M’s head to move past it. That was the longest contraction of my life, but it worked.

After some more really intense pushing, mostly on my hands and knees, and a last minute water break (I was GBS+ again, so this was ideal), our sweet girl finally made her appearance at 9:39 AM. She was 6 pounds 9 ounces and 20 inches long.

Similar to K’s birth, Emily was concerned with my bleeding and my placenta was slow to deliver, so after trying some herbs, we opted for a pitocin shot. Although we never prefer synthetic drugs, we always weigh the risk versus the benefit and recognize that they have a place.

Emily and Emma were simply amazing throughout that last hour. They worked together seamlessly. I spent a lot of this labor frustrated, discouraged and not believing that I could keep going, but their compassion and wisdom carried me through to the moment when I saw my precious girl’s sweet face for the first time.

And Chris… always steadfast. Nearly all my contractions were spent pressing my head into his chest while clinging to his shirt collar. I couldn’t do it without him.

As one who tends to have expectations for everything, I realized that if you make up your mind about every single detail beforehand, even a healthy, un-medicated, uncomplicated birth can be disappointing. At least initially. Now that some time has passed, I can see clearly that I’ve had another beautiful birth experience and I never want to take that for granted.

If we should choose to have more children and God allows it, then I hope to limit my expectations to God’s will being done. And no poison ivy.

Plans Formed Long Ago

I love seasons.

It wasn’t always so.

Before we started gardening and raising chickens, winter served no purpose to me. Why couldn’t it just be spring or fall all year?

As we began working with animals and the earth, I realized that there is a great need for a season of rest. Rest for the birds as they take a break from laying, rest for the earth, and rest for us. There are seasons of sowing, seasons of growth, and seasons of reaping.

This summer will mark five years that we have been in North Carolina. When we first moved into our apartment, we dreamed of having a yard and chickens and a garden. Chris even planted a garden behind our apartment. It was fruitless in the literal sense, but the practice and principle watered our souls’ desires for more. I remember talking about how we believed it would be five or ten years before we’d be able to move and have enough space for a garden and livestock. It was so far-fetched to us in that season.

After two years in the apartment, we discovered this farmhouse through a friend at our local farmer’s market. Pinching ourselves all the way, we moved into this 1930s home surrounded by nothing but fields and big skies.

Fighting the temptation to see our time in the apartment as all bad, I chose to be thankful.

Now, three years later, God is displaying His faithfulness in big ways once again. Chris and I have been praying about what’s next for us. Both believing that we were being lead back toward family, we started considering what a move to Georgia would look like. We love the space and life that God has granted us these last few years. Chris enjoys his work. I’m so grateful for my time at the local pregnancy care center. So many good gifts.

With Baby #3 arriving later this year, we decided that we would loosely plan for a move next spring.

So, here we were just planning our spring garden, spring flock, and organizing baby’s clothes and room, when Chris got an email from a recruiter. This isn’t unusual. He gets them all the time through LinkedIn. What is unusual is when the recruiter says she represents a company in the town where you are looking to move. We exchanged puzzled looks and decided to entertain the possibility.

That was three weeks ago. After a phone interview and a last minute trip for an in-person interview, he has accepted an offer and put in his two weeks notice at his current job.

But, wait, aren’t you about to have a baby?!

Oh, right. Did I mention that they are letting him work remotely until after the baby is born and we are able to move?

“O Lord, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders, Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness.” Isaiah 25:1

Seasons are good. God’s timing is perfect.

To everyone who has been a part of our story in North Carolina, thank you. You are loved and will be greatly missed.

Guest Post: Catalyst

If there is one word to describe my wife’s influence on my life, it would be “catalyst.” Anna is the most passionate person I know. She has an unwavering resolve to know truth and to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord. She is constantly weighing “what is” against what Scripture says “should be.” I love this about her.

Proverbs 31:11-12 says,

“The heart of her husband trusts her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”

What an incredible blessing it is to trust your wife and know that she is truly seeking God in every aspect of life. Anna is my sounding board. I know that I can share anything with her – life’s struggles, triumphs, difficult questions, or even personal burdens – and she will always point me to the truth of Scripture. She is not afraid to speak truth into my life even when I don’t want to hear it. In our relationship we rarely brush problems under the rug. We deal with them. This is in large part due to Anna’s commitment to truth and real, genuine, God-honoring relationship. Despite what the world says, this does me good, not harm. In a world full of peace-keeping, shallow-thinking girls who want to look exactly like their “friend” on social media, it is refreshing to have a peace-making, critically-thinking woman whose aim is to look like Jesus no matter what the world tells her she should look like.

The God-given gift of marriage is a humbling experience. It has revealed my selfishness, my weaknesses, and my need for accountability through Christ-centered relationship. Anna has challenged me in countless ways. Her passion has sparked boldness in my life that I didn’t know was in me. Her fervor for truth has ignited in me a yearning for Godly wisdom and knowledge. Her principled thought has forced me to think about the reasons behind the decisions that I make. The seriousness with which she takes her job as a mother and the way she selflessly and tirelessly serves our children inspires me to be the father that God has called me to be. Her heart for those who don’t know Jesus is a frequent reminder of the depravity of sin, our need for a Savior, and the call for Christ-followers to be a light in a dark world.

That God would choose to use my beautiful, loving, and devoted wife to sharpen my faith and point me to Jesus is nothing short of a blessing. I can’t imagine my life without her. I am so thankful for my bride.

Happy 31st Birthday, my love!